Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew?
That's easy, folks. It's hookers! And there's no way I'm gonna sleep on a hooker story until next Monday.
The Chicago Police Department has started posting the pictures of people arrested for soliciting prostitutes (I was originally just going to write "solicitation," but then remembered my former boss was arrested for soliciting a 15-year-old girl, not a hooker) on its website. http://www.chicagopolice.org/ps/list.aspx
So now, if I ever want to research those who love hookers WAY more than I do (for those new to the Bend It processes, my "hooker obsession" spans many years and is outstandingly tongue-in-cheek -- my own, not the hookers'), I can look right here. It gives their home address, in case I want to go talk shop about who's actually the best hooker in Chicago over a nice cup of tea. Plus, it gives the address of the arrest, which means I know exactly where to go if I'm in the mood to discuss with the hookers themselves who's actually the best hooker in Chicago over a nice cup of tea. The icing on the cake is that above this list of perps, it says in italics: "These individuals are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law." There is nothing I could say here that wouldn't detract from this.
If you'd like to see the news story about this in this morning's Chicago Tribune, it's right here. Marisol, take note. There's a Buffington in the story.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-050621daley,1,963401.story?coll=chi-news-hed
How awesome would an 8-hour crash course in hooker solicitation education be! Seriously, if it weren't for the fact that I'd have a criminal record, I'd almost want to get arrested just for the class.
In closing, to misappropriate a line from Red Stripe, Hooray Hookers!
The Chicago Police Department has started posting the pictures of people arrested for soliciting prostitutes (I was originally just going to write "solicitation," but then remembered my former boss was arrested for soliciting a 15-year-old girl, not a hooker) on its website. http://www.chicagopolice.org/ps/list.aspx
So now, if I ever want to research those who love hookers WAY more than I do (for those new to the Bend It processes, my "hooker obsession" spans many years and is outstandingly tongue-in-cheek -- my own, not the hookers'), I can look right here. It gives their home address, in case I want to go talk shop about who's actually the best hooker in Chicago over a nice cup of tea. Plus, it gives the address of the arrest, which means I know exactly where to go if I'm in the mood to discuss with the hookers themselves who's actually the best hooker in Chicago over a nice cup of tea. The icing on the cake is that above this list of perps, it says in italics: "These individuals are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law." There is nothing I could say here that wouldn't detract from this.
If you'd like to see the news story about this in this morning's Chicago Tribune, it's right here. Marisol, take note. There's a Buffington in the story.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-050621daley,1,963401.story?coll=chi-news-hed
How awesome would an 8-hour crash course in hooker solicitation education be! Seriously, if it weren't for the fact that I'd have a criminal record, I'd almost want to get arrested just for the class.
In closing, to misappropriate a line from Red Stripe, Hooray Hookers!
posted by Senor Beavis @ 11:24 AM
3 Comments:
At 9:26 PM,
Sleepless in San Luis said…
I guess that the 14th Amendment doesn't apply in Chicago. Nice looking group of guys. Perhaps we could post those photos on a new dating site. Bend it members get to bid first. Membership has its privileges.
At 8:31 PM,
Fine, call me Marisol. said…
This Buffington, however, happens to be one of my personal social service role models as opposed to someone who sends her 4-year-old to harp lessons and Faberge egg designing classes.
At 11:09 AM,
Senor Beavis said…
How could they arrest Jesus Perez? Don't they know Jesus is supposed to be hanging out with prostitutes?
There's a substantial possibility I might have this site bookmarked.
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